Never have I wanted to
leave India so badly.
While Alicia
prepared to leave, I also started to pack. I was wishing that I could
leave too... obviously, I didn't. However, in that moment all I wanted was
to be in comfortable place, with comfortable people and I didn't want my
"comfortable person/friend" to leave. For six years I have
joyfully traveled to India, but this time it felt like too much. India is
dusty and dirty but in the past my eyes never saw any of that. They
only saw beauty...beauty in saris, faces, hearts, etc. This
year I couldn't see the beauty. I knew the problem wasn't really in India
but in my heart. All I wanted was to crawl in my bed and console myself until I
felt better.
In the back of my mind
was a tiny whisper that seemed to challenge my desire to leave - a tiny whisper
that challenged me to engage in a healing journey that didn't lead to
my bed as comfort, but rather, finding comfort in God. I really
doubted it would work...but, IT IS!! :) Not a fast change but a
slow one. Slowly, I have been reminded that I do serve a faithful God and
he is ready and waiting to meet me as soon as I come willingly to him. I
see beauty again!
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