Goodnight India.. I Love You!

  Even after saying goodbye once.  I still keep hoping I will see each one of you again.  It was not until I returned from a wonderful dinner with wonderful friends that it really felt over.  The campus was dark, empty, and quiet; not the way I like it.  I hoping to say one more goodbye  to a dear friend.  We had exchanged parting words once before and her face is always in my heart, yet I sought one more contact. I was just a few minutes too late and she'd already left. All of the cleaning ladies, kids, teachers, and staff were gone and the hubbub of the day finished  - everything quiet.  

  It really was a wonderful day of goodbyes.  I actually felt like I spent quality time with most of those I love.  So much better than the running I did at the end of my time, last year.  I was so blessed yesterday to see a village friend with whom I thought I would miss connections and today blessed again because one of my favorite cleaning ladies came back...just in time.  She had been gone for 22 days and was not expected to return till Monday.  I think she came early just to say, "Goodbye."  Boy was I happy to see her… and she was equally excited by my enthusiasm upon her return.  It is late now. I intended to be in bed way earlier (considering that my car leaves at 2:00 am).  But after calling everyone to say goodbye I just needed to walk the campus, think, and pray.   While I greatly prefer the excitement of the day, the quiet campus provided the perfect setting for thinking.  What a wonderful summer filled with joy, blessings, and new friends.  Good-night India.. I love you.. see you soon (I pray).

A Great Gift!

What a great day I had yesterday. I planned a perfect day... from 9:00-10:30: teach, village trip at 10:30-1:30, 1:30-lunch, 2:00-visit favorite office, 3:30 meeting, 4:00- beautify, 5:00-tutor, 6:00- shop, 6:30- visiting with friends .. 8:30 more visiting with friends, 10:00 pack, 11:00 bed.

BUT as I should have guessed, leaving the school took awhile and when I returned from teaching I found out that the car headed for the village trip had already left. My heart sank because that is my favorite place to go. THANKFULLY.. knowing my desperation - they came back for me. I had such a great time visiting everyone. My favorite lady, the one I have written much about over the years, works during the day. I never even checked her house because she is never home. But just as we were deciding whether we could visit one more home…. out she came! She had stayed home for the day! What a great gift to end to my trip. She is one neat lady. I am SO blessed to know her. The rest of the day went mostly as planned. So nice to see everyone but sad to go. Now, one more day of visiting and saying good-bye. God willing I will be back in a year. Thinking about that is helping my heart.

Good-bye Week

Oh God help...     being in the villages today reminds me again just how much I love it here.. and how much I feel recharged.  Spending one afternoon with the wonderful ladies from the village has filled my cup to overflowing but it is also leaves me with a heavy heart. Today was one of those days when it seems as though the small amount I am able to give is sooooo little in comparison to the everpresent heartache I witness.  I wish holding someone’s hand would fix the problems endured. I wish that my unintelligible English words could leap outside of the language barrier and really offer encouragement.  Not ready to leave.  Hoping this week gives me quality time with everyone.

Happy Teacher

Two weeks ago I visited a school located in the middle of a slum area. I loved the location and loved the teachers but somehow it did not feel like a very productive week. I introduced some behavior modification techniques to one teacher with a class of 50 (3-4 year olds). I was not sure which concepts would "stick" after I left. Today, the teacher found me and thanked me. She said that before I came she'd had daily conversations with the principal, telling him that she could not do this. She told him that she had too many students who were too young (plus she did not speak the same language as the kids). She reported today that her modifications are still working. Her class is listening, quiet, and now knows six letters. She said she no longer needs to meet with the principal.

MATH

July 30, 2011

  I told the teachers at school today that I needed to write a letter. I need to write a letter to a former teacher. I am sure that she would never imagine that her name would come up in India and that I would end up sharing from my heart the difference she made to me.. but...I did.. and I know that the impact she had on me has touched teachers half a world away. It’s been 22 years since she was my math teacher. She gave me a poster that year that still hangs in my childhood bedroom .. it reads .. "I would love math if it didn’t have so many numbers.. Keep trying - Love, Mrs. Mizzelle."

 I was never good in math. That year, I was moved to her math class. It was really a class higher than where I should have been. I knew that my “math anxiety" was already high.. and being in the advanced section only made it worse. I am not sure why she came to mind this week. It has been a while since I have thought about that year.

  I am guessing that it started on Wednesday. I was watching a third grade math class. I missed what had transpired before I entered and the conversation was in Telugu so I was not sure what was being said. However, standing among his peers, was a wide-eyed boy looking intently at his teacher. His eyes brimmed with tears and he wore a look of desperation. It was as if I could feel his small heart. I could identify with his angst....when the realization hits that you don’t know the answer. More than anything - you want to shrink from the room. Even as I watched - the elapsed time seemed endless. I had to make a conscious decision not to jump in, take his hand, and offer encouragement ( I meant to say something to him today but forgot… I hope someone will).

  In my daily half hour teacher sessions, I usually talk about a variety of  instructional methods that can be used with struggling learners. Thursday's topic was learning styles and and how individuals learn differently. If we vary the instructional modality, perhaps someone who could not understand...will be able

to comprehend. 

 Even though I had not planned it - I began telling about my own struggle to understand math. I told about the hours of tears at the kitchen table, struggling with computations and calculations. I also shared the wisdom of my teacher who knew that my fifth grade heart needed confidence even more than my brain needed math.

  I told the teachers yesterday and as I write this now it still brings tears to my eyes. Mrs. Mizzelle would tell me a day ahead of time, which problem I would need to solve on the board so that when I went before the class I could meet with success. She made sure that I never looked different or felt inadequate. I am not sure what will happen to my third class friend or whether he will ever really understand mathematics. 

  As I prepared to depart, one of the math teachers.. the quietest at the school said, “ I know now that it is my job to make all students successful and to give them encouragement.” How wonderful that the teachers were inspired by my teacher, a world away, who they will never meet. Thanks you Mrs. Mizzelle. Your impact on one (me) has impacted a school of many -  including one small, wide eyed, third grade boy.

Thankful!

Tonight.. I am sitting looking at my pictures from the past weeks. I am smiling as I remember small moments. I remember the gift of a family from a world away, the giggle that bursts from almost every lip whenever they hear my attempt at Telugu, and a smile on the face of a friend I made last year. This year, that same friend, is quick to take my hand and try to engage in conversation. She has even learned English and attempts to speak it. Between her very broken English, my very broken Telugu and a lot of acting - - we sometimes communicate a spoken message.. but more so.. we communicate a heart message. I am looking at faces of people I don’t know but long to meet. I really wish I could come for awhile and work in a rice field or as a sweeper. I would love to listen. I would love to know their stories. I wish I took pictures that did justice to the beauty of aged hands clutching the worn ends of saris or faces that peer through once brightly painted doors. I would love to hear what they know about faith, about life, and loving others. I am thinking of people I do know whose faces are a joy to see each time I visit but so hard to leave. I love the expression of surprise that says without words…”You came again.” I love when they tell me to “go and come” (back soon). I am looking at new friends… who with great persuasion agreed to have tea or the faces on those I was with today - how they laughed when I tried to teach the electric slide. I am thankful for teachers who trust me enough to enter their classrooms; who allow me to take their class and share ideas. I am so thankful that God is teaching me to give the week to him. Most weeks have not gone according the plan I have set. Some days, that has left me feeling frustrated.. but this week I am loving seeing His plan instead of mine. Mostly, I am truly thankful to God to be here again. What fun!

Catch the Lingo

(see if you can guess what the phrase means… don’t cheat. )

a. If you are “eating nicely” you…
b. “They got the baby” means…
c. If you are going to put your baby in a perambulator you will…
d. If you ask for a cover for your bananas they will give you a….
e. Ordering “plain water” will get you…
f. If you are “not eating properly”
g. If every table in a restaurant is full you can..
h. A head nod =yes, a shake= no, a wiggle from side to side= ….
i. If you are told to…“take this road and the house will come”..you will
j. If someone “has sugar” they…
k. If you are asked “have you taken food?” they mean..




answers below:)


a. ate a lot of food… or they are impressed you can eat with your hand
b. They had a baby
c. put them in a stroller
d. bag
e. water that is not cold (If you want cold water you have to ask for it)
f. you did not eat enough
g. join a table that has empty chairs (even if others are sitting there)
h. whatever you want…. Or, no (but they don’t want to tell you no)
i. pass the house
j. are diabetic
k. did you eat

I know there are more.. but that is all I can think of for now.

Royal Welcome!!

So, I hear Hillary Clinton was just in India..but...I am sure she did not receive as royal a welcome as I just did. Children lined the walkway - all the way from my car to the school steps. Each fist was filled with a handful of yellow petals that they tossed (or pitched) in my direction as I walked by. There was a banner with my name and picture. Three dances were prepared and performed by various classes...what a morning! The best part….I am being given the opportunity to meet with teachers for 30 minutes each day. What a GREAT welcome.

Generous Giving

I visited the home of the little girl I sponsor. She is the second of four sisters living in the home (two older sisters live elsewhere). Their small house has two rooms. A front room for cooking and a back room for sleeping. The back room has a small bed with only a thin straw mat resting against its metal frame.
Over the years the family has been blessed with support from the larger community. The youngest daughter (now about 4) had open heart surgery a year ago. She is doing well. Her energy bubbles over. She burst into my arms when she saw me. She is always in motion...doing muscle poses in front of the camera and running in and out of the house like a whirlwind. The only sign of her once weak heart is the scar on her chest.
In order to keep the children healthy the family needs more than the typical meal of rice. Vegetables are expensive and difficult to afford. At times, others will give the family these items but instead of keeping the food for her children..the mother shares with neighbors. A truly generous heart.

Please keep this family in your prayers. The oldest daughter has not attended school in a month. She promises to return on Monday but I am skeptical. While math is a struggle, I know that lifelong difficulties will continue without an education. When I asked what would convince her to go back..she said.. “PRAYER”.

Working!

This year I have been searching for signs of growth. As you know, many schools I have visited this year are schools I am visiting for the first time. I spend the week, thereby proving that I can wear a sari, sit on the ground, eat with my hand, and handle spicy food. More importantly it shows that I am not going to say “My way is best,” but will instead listen and partner with the staff. Usually trust builds slowly....by Thursday or Friday... leaving little left of the week.

But this week has come with several surprises showing "buy in"…

a. Yesterday, a wonderful surprise was waiting for me in the first grade room..a small, simple piece of paper with BIG importance. It was a paper I distributed a year ago...and it WAS being incorporated...proving something stuck.

b. The manager of the school was describing how he would like to see students gain a deeper understanding of concepts(I already liked that part). He went on to say.. “ You know, like those books you brought last year. I want my students to be able to make those.” (Thanks 3rd grade.. .those were the books you made.)

c. Two years ago I was so blessed to form really wonderful relationships with girls who were living where I live. They were studying to be teachers. I just loved them and we still keep in concact. This week I found out that one of the girls is working at the school I am visiting. She teaches LKG (lower kindergarten) and UKG (upper kindergarten). Yesterday I demonstrated one lesson in LKG. Today she asked for the supplies needed for the lesson because she wanted to do it in UKG. When I stopped in her room an hour later she had done it! All day was like that, almost team teaching. Sharing ideas and trying them.

d. On the first day of this week, the other LKG teacher seemed very resistant to my ideas. Saying as many do.. “We have to teach, we don’t have time for games.” Yet I was excited today to see him smile while I engaged his students in a lesson on prepositions. He hurried over to his book in order to write the idea down.)

e. I wanted to hang pocket charts.. 15 minutes later..screws were put in the wall.

f. After I demonstrated how to do “Mystery” in 2nd class, the teacher tried the same idea in 3rd class.

g. On the way to school today.. I was talking to the manager about how he would like his teachers to teach. He said, “ We had a meeting at the start of the year for one hour. I didn’t know you were coming, but I used you as an example...and I reminded them how actively you teach. I told the teachers that I'd like to see them using more activities like that.”

Starfish

This week I have thought a lot about the story of the old man who daily walks along the beach rescuing starfish stranded in the sand. He tosses them back out to safety in the sea. When he looks down the length of the beach, the sands stretch out very far...way too far for him to ever help all the starfish. Yet as he picks up each one and tosses it out to sea he is comforted by knowing that he made a difference to one.

Sometimes I am the old man...but often...I am the starfish. This week, I was both.

Me-The Old Man: Initially I forgot something that the old man knows.. the old man only picks starfish stranded in the sand. It annoys starfish already in the water when you try to move them to a new location. Two types of trainings work (here or anywhere), a training where an individual is sent and one in which the person recognizes a deficit and seeks growth. I forgot what the old man knows..and tried to move content starfish. This week however, it was exciting to find one starfish who really wanted help. Her class of 50 (3-5 year olds) was bursting at the seams. She didn't speak the same language as her students and was frustrated. It appeared that she spent more time outside the classroom than in it (who could blame her). While I love behavior modification, it is not something many teachers seem to want to utilize.. but in this case, she was willing for any kind of help. We tried rewarding positive behavior. It worked! The students started prompting each other to be quiet and to watch the teacher. More exciting than the children's reactions was the teacher's. By Friday, she was in the classroom, laughing with her students, trying out new songs and willing to soak up any new teaching suggestions I could offer. HOW COOL!

Me-The Starfish:
In my case, I am the starfish much of the time. I am learning to trust God, and just allow each week to unfold. On a weekly basis there are moments when nothing seems to go right. I panic in the middle, despite knowing that there is almost always a positive ending. I am learning that success can be measured by crunching numbers and analyzing data but it is often measured in much simpler and more beautiful ways. Success is also evident through increasing trust, laugher, and the connections built one person at a time. Next year, if I am lucky enough to return, I will continue to open the door a bit wider and seize every chance to work in the classrooms of many teachers or just offer helpful ideas....and to learn something about myself.

Update

If you read back in last year’s postings you read a story (reposted below) and see a picture of me with an elderly lady who lives in a village near where I stay. The text specifically referred to the moment the picture was taken..(the two of us sitting outside a home). It was one of those experiences that I have described many times before..an encounter where no words are exchanged yet much is spoken. In my case, in that moment..much was healed.

I saw her again last night. At first, when she took my hand.. I wasn’t sure if she remembered me. But a smile spread across her face and she flung her frail arms around my neck, holding tight...I guess she remembered!!!

re-post -lessons learned.. posted last year

My first year in India I took two pictures that I regretted taking. I regretted both for the same reason. Both pictures were really good, but really, both were “stolen”. Both were taken of people I didn’t know. One was of a little girl, maybe two years old who was sitting and crying in the street. Her brother, maybe four, seemed to be responsible for her. It was late, she was little, dirty and probably hungry. I was hurrying to get on the bus and stopped for a second and took her picture. As soon as I sat down I regretted that picture. I regretted that in the one second I had with her I took her picture. I forever wished I would have used that second to kneel down and ask if she was ok or offered this little one some kind of comfort as she sat, crying in this busy street. But instead, I had “stolen” her picture. The other picture I regretted was of an older lady in a village where we stopped to visit. My “national geographic wanna be” kicked in. I knew this picture of her scrubbing pots was going to be a good one..and it was, but I regretted not going over, shaking her hand, and introducing myself. I regretted in both cases forgetting first to love and get to know people. While I have changed how I take pictures I was so happy tonight to see this same lady and even happier when we sat outside, just the two of us; we shared a snack and enjoyed each other's company.

Measuring Success

On the way to the airport I was going through my last minute emotions, excitement and anticipation mixed with nervousness. My parents and I began discussing their opinion of my ongoing travels. Different from my first years they no longer express concern for safety (ok, at least less) but this year they challenged me to find answers to the effectiveness of these trips.

Typically, at the end of the summer, all that sticks with me are the delights.. the joys of watching children laugh, reflecting on what was learned and what was taught and mostly the joy of seeing walls of division melt into friendship. What I forget are the difficulties at the start (good thing). I forget about the language barrier .. that while we all speak English, my accent to some makes me unintelligible. I forget about introducing new concepts and how different it must seem from anything they are used to, and I forget that I will have to overcome my position of “honor” (that comes from being a teacher and a foreigner) and that it must be overcome by slowly building trust. Really, before they will trust me as a teacher.. they need to trust me as a person…

So, success is hard to measure (at least by the standards people want to hear about). Last week I taught concepts that didn’t seem to fly and complicated because I missed two days at the school because of a "bandh." I also watched teachers laugh in nervousness because I wanted to join them for lunch.

On Thursday night I prayed to know what to do.. I didn’t really want to leave materials that I had not shown teachers how to use.. but we were out of time. As I prayed I was reminded that they definitely could not use what I did not leave. So, I left everything.. giving them a brief rundown on what was there and trusting that my job was only to teach and God’s job was to instill in them the desire to use the concepts. While I have no clue what will be used and what will not be used or how to report “success” in that regard (yet).. three teachers did join me for tea on Friday at the hotel.. and that.. is success… we weren’t giggling in nervousness but instead giggling in friendship .

View of the Street

Today was a "bandh" .. I was stuck in the hotel room all day.. To pass the time I would “reward myself” by looking out the door to the hallway or out the window to the street below. The hallway provided almost no entertainment.. The only fun in the hallway came at around 9:00 in the morning when the ladies were sweeping. I tried out my Telugu but got back only a smile or blank stare.. must be my accent.

So, the only real source of entertainment was out the window. I am on the third floor, so I can see the rooftops of nearby houses and can gaze up and down the length of the street. Up one side is what looks like a garden.. I was told it was a government property. At the other end is a main road. It is hard to see that far but I can tell it is busy…

I am up early.. partly because I went to bed at 8:30 and partly because I don’t know it is a "bandh" and I think I am going to school. I am planning to wear a sari.. so it takes a little longer to get ready.

Here is some of what I see.. (times are approximate)

6:00 Head count… 8 others are sitting on the rooftops also up early.. welcoming in the morning...not much happening .. YET!

8:00- I think I am witnessing a break in. The houses across the way are being invaded. The owners of the house are nearby but because of the layout of the building I don’t think the owners can tell that right on the other side of the thin wall is an intruder. I am watching them quietly climb the steps, walk along the open roof, and peer over the edge. I think they are waiting to make their move. I try to motion to the owner but he doesn’t see me. Another intruder drops into the open area above the bathroom in the neighboring house. Only minutes before the owner had been standing there brushing his teeth. I am sure the intruder was waiting for him to finish. Eventually, the noise arouses the owner of the first house.. he sneaks a stick out the door banging it around and scaring the intruders away.. from what I can tell not too much damage was done.

10:00- A very heated argument takes place right across the road.. looks like a cat fight, “claws” out teeth showing. The yelling is intense. I can hear it all the way across the street. They are right on the edge of the walkway. I feel nervous at times that one or the other will slip and fall over the side. It is so heated I almost feel guilty watching. I fear at some point one will notice my eavesdropping and give me a nasty look.. but, I guess I can’t understand what they are saying so, it is not really eavesdropping right????

12:00 Must be lunch time... What appears to be a very hungry mama digs in the huge trash dump finding a bag of chips. She first raises the bag above her head.. peering into the mostly empty bag hoping for a few crumbs. She must have found them because she reaches in to grab a few morsels. I feel bad for her.. she clearly wants more. Another.. has a handful of bananas, two tucked under his armpit for safe keeping (who would want to steal them after that), and a third is peeled with meticulous precision making certain that every bite is eaten. He proceeds until all the bananas are gone.

2:00- Sad to see but outside the window is a girl missing her left arm. I keep watching.. impressed by how well she is able to get around despite these limitations. Seems nothing will stop her.

4:00. So cute. A mother and child are playing.. at least that’s what it looks like. Maybe the little one is not listening.. but I will choose to believe they are playing. Fun to watch them.. they play just as we do.. it almost looks like leapfrog.. the little one pokes his mom.. then jumps over her hunched back.. before she can reach to grab him he flips over the short wall as if to say.. COME GET ME!!!

Boy do I love watching these monkeys!

Sweetness

A little boy and his mom occupied my thoughts much of last year. I could not wait to see him. I was unsure if he would remember me. Today, he found me on the playground. He played alone for awhile wanting me to watch, then he asked me to sit down. When I did he climbed on my lap. Not content with that...he turned around facing me so he could lay his head on my chest. Then, he leaned up and kissed my cheek. So sweet coming from this rough and tumble kid who can barely seem to sit still. Love him!

For Good: From Wicked the Musical

(True of trips passed. So happy we are meeting again! What a great few days.)

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

New School

I can’t always remember what I post on here..but I do know what continues to play again and again in my mind…the power of education.
My favorite picture recently was of a ninth class girl preparing for her school's opening ceremony. She peered in the broken mirror leaning against the window....looking....and obviously full of pride, confidence, and excitement. A younger girl takes it all in, watching in admiration.
The room was buzzing with excitement. Girls were peeking through windows gazing at the approaching crowd , giggling at my awe of them. They look magnificent. Dresses beautifully fitted, hair filled with flowers, bells around their ankles, fingertips dyed with henna and make-up perfectly applied. I am not sure where these girls live or where they come from but I could tell they felt beautiful. Confidence radiated from them and they looked about five years older than they had the day before, dressed in their school uniforms. Not knowing the girls I might have thought they always possessed this poise.
As the program began the girls danced. Parents and children visited and shared experiences; supporters were recognized. But before moving to the ribbon cutting ceremony at the beautiful new building we were reminded of how the school began. It all started on the front porth of a house. Teachers not only taught content but children learned how to sit, listen, and how to come to school clean and ready to learn. What struck me the most was the question posed to parents. "How many parents can sign their name?" The majority sign with a fingerprint. Now, a generation later, their children have leanred not only to sign their name but to read, write, and speak with confidence. Watch out world.. here they come! Congratulations everyone on your new school I feel so privileged to have been there.

Not Impossible!

I believe that we will never know what a person is capable of becoming. Too often we see limitations and decide for others what they can and can’t achieve and then teach them inside the limits we have predetermined. I believe we should assume each child can succeed. We must find ways to enhance that potential by looking outside of the box.

This has become my teaching philosophy. .. and while I believe it.. my students are still young and therefore it is hard to see the results of my investment. But as a teacher, I can’t imagine the joy of seeing one of my students achieve what others said WOULD NOT be possible. As a teacher of students with special needs there sometimes seems to be a lot of “impossible” spoken around and about my students.
This week, I am staying in the home of a musically gifted family. I have been so so blessed by evening concerts and times of family singing. On Saturday, we all went to see their son perform with his college choir. He has perfect pitch and can play almost any song by ear, upon request. He is in his second year of college and will soon be preparing for his final music test. This talented young man also has Autism.
On Sunday, via skype, we were all able to talk to his first teacher, who taught him as a second grader. She remembered a boy much different from the man he is today. Her investment in this young man, and the investment of his family, has certainly paid off. This family and teacher have an unbreakable bond because both believed in the "possible" rather than the "impossible." They believed in the pursuit of a dream!

Good So Far

So thankful for a few quiet days before starting the busy teaching weeks. I always think that I am tougher than jet lag...but I am not. Today was my first day without a nap. Hopefully I will sleep tonight. I have a few updates to add and hope that I have better internet access tomorrow.

Made It!

What a long trip. I slept a lot on the way here so I was thrilled to feel wide awake as we left the airport. I was sure I could stay awake all day as they suggest. Now, about two hours later, I am SOOOOO tired. :). Had a warm welcome back, my first tea, and my first mango. Now I gotta stay awake. Thanks for all your prayers. I will write more later....when I can see straight. :)

Ready?!?!

June 17,2010

Six, five,four.... "Aghhh!" My bags are packed, they have been for a week.  I am probably more organized than ever....five phonics kits (that I had to make), morning calendar for five classrooms, at least 12 donated pocket charts, reading assessments, 90 glow bracelets for my littlest friends, and a stack of first grade books.  Marc, the son of my college roommate, picked out his favorites to share with kids a world a way.  I sound ready...right? "Ughhh!" then why don't I feel ready.  I can look back over the past three years and utilize what I have learned (when it comes to teaching) but...when it comes to my heart the same unsettled feeling is there again. I know that every year my anxiety leaves once I walk through the first check point at the Cleveland airport and I know that I come back charged and encouraged instead of worn out as I fear I will be. I am always blessed with love, friendship, and more amazing experiences than I can even imagine.  Now if only I could convince my heart to relax, trust, and enjoy.  

On the Road Again.

I can't believe that I am going to India for my fourth trip! There were many times this year when "waiting" to return seemed to drag on and on but now with only a few weeks left I have so much to get done. Keep reading here to follow the travels!