Today was the first Sunday I didn't feel anything.. usually Sunday more than any other day I long to be in India. My heart usually just aches. All day today I missed the ache.. I wanted it. It made no sense why I didn't ache. I missed getting to talk to friends I usually talk with but was so happy to hear from friends I seldom get to talk to. I even got to talk by phone to one friend. Her story is so hard right now...so many trials. It hurt my heart to hear it but still no ache.. but finally...tonight there it is. Watching the end of a movie that I had seen before without tears - stirred my heart and again...I long for India.

Unresting heart

Faith

The children....a smile...peeking in the room every time the door opens. Yelling, "Hi, Aunty," out the widow each time I pass by. Such joy. Where does such joy come from? I know what their answer is, the same as everyone's... "God said there would be trials. He suffered. If we must, we will do the same for God."
What amazing faith!

We had talked briefly, just a few times...mostly about her children and their curiosity with my white skin, but that was all. Then on Saturday as I was leaving, she came in my room to show me pictures of her town and her home. Every picture was of broken, burned piles of brick and dirt.. In November, the Christians in her northern town were the focus of the attacks. She explained that her home had been destroyed.

I remember hearing about this… and thinking, "Wow, how terrible." I am sure I prayed quickly but forgot. It was in my head as a tragic news story, a terrible event but not something personal or in my heart. Again and again on this trip my heart has ached for this state. It is no longer a news story, it is about my friends.

I wish my words could paint a better picture of this family. They are not crying; they are hopeful. They are praising God, knowin that God will provide.

I am home now and I am planning to return next year. I had such an amazing time. The classes went well and visiting the schools was great. I love the children....but...the greatest joy in my heart was the wonderful women with whom I became friends. I had prayed for one good friend but was wonderfully blessed with friends in abundance. These women have incredible lives and unbelievable stories. I am so lucky to know all of them. They are all serving God in amazing ways with such faith and passion. Please pray that I will see them again. I believe that God would not have drawn us as close as he did and then not allow the contact to continue. Please keep them and India in your prayers. Pray also for guidance about what my return trip should look like.

PS.. I will keep this site open and continue to post more of my writing about India. I will also post updates regarding my desire to return to India.

....Praying for some fluke that will cause me to have to go back and be able to see all the girls and friends I've had to leave.....

Broken heart

Yesterday was sooo hard. In the weeks that I have been here my heart has grown to love people. In the beginning we only talked of hot food, hot weather and what America was like. But...in the weeks that have followed we have shared stories and lives. We have joked, made fun of each other, and spent time in prayer. I feel like I have family here. Many, I will see again if I am lucky enough to return next year but several I may never see. They will return to parts of India that I most likely will be unable to visit. My heart misses them so much.

Snake

One small touch would kill a person in 20 minutes. Not the type of thing you want to have in your kindergarten classroom, yet the school we visited today has had its fourth snake this week. Some have been huge cobras but this one was small and deadly, a Krate snake. Snake season and rainy season seem to go hand in hand. The rain brings forth frogs and the snakes come for the frogs, causing a huge problem for the school.